Well, here I am. I met a lovely young lady in February who, amazingly, liked me. We began to date a little and clicked, we hooked up, and then I broke up. I realized I missed her and so I slowly convinced her to give me "another shot." We finally got back right before the semester broke up for the summer in early April. I drove to her home in Twin Falls to see her, she came back and helped with an orientation program I had worked on; then we went our separate ways for the summer. In early May, she was down here in Utah and we spent a day together. All was well! This last week, something wasn't feeling right about the entire situation... I have been feeling emotionally ill about everything. Tonight, she broke up with me. My guess is that she has developed feelings for another guy. We haven't missed a single night of talking on the phone since we parted our ways for the summer. Now it begins. I feel relief. I have been constantly reversing my feelings for her, not of my own choice, and it is good to have an opportunity to resolve the issues in my life without this complication. She is a fantastic girl and has so much to offer... but the timing, if not the entire relationship, wasn't so good... I am better now. I have learned this well, that dating will always be a painful experience. I have never had such a great time with anyone... but there has been so much bad too... I feel like the two experiences I have had in the 9 months have taught me the extremes. Now I must look for emotional compatibility in between these two. I am vacillating even now.
I look at her facebook photos and think... man, she is so cute and I will miss her so much...
And for the other extreme-- Wow, I am finally done! Who do I want to date now?
...Maybe I am messed up...
